Saw you disappear completely and I don’t know why

I really don't think I'll forget that drive home from the airport, ever. I can't really find words for it. I can't find words for much of anything lately.


But my mom randomly decided that she's comfortable with me going to Massachusetts now. She said it's because I'm "older" now. I don't know when this happened, exactly, but I think I agree. I feel older. At least a little.

"I’m selfishly connected to my changing mind
I should lift myself and find the time to
Place a call or write you back
Or start to talk with those I haven’t
I’m completely alone,
had my time and it passed
But now I have to ask

If I can make an honest mistake,
then you can let yourself live this way
If I can make an honest mistake, then you’re safe"