And honestly, I've never really been honest with myself

I've been thinking about honesty a lot. I think for me, I never thought about it that much because I always just kept things inside, I didn't say what I thought. So what is that? It's not lying, but it's definitely not being honest. At least I don't think it is. Lately, I've been becoming a little bit more... I can't think of a good word, but I've been a little braver, a little more blunt, a little less afraid to say what I'm thinking. I still suck at forming my own opinions for the most part, but I'm working on that. I've been lying more lately, though. Lying to random people. Not horrible lies, just lies. I don't really like lies because then I cover them up with more lies. Lying is really terrible. I just don't like it. But I've been doing it. Don't worry, I'm not a compulsive liar or anything. It's actually pretty weird, with the more lying I've been doing, I've also been doing more speaking honestly. Telling people what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking. I bet the people I say the truthful things to don't realize I'm doing it. They probably think I'm just talking, they don't realize it's things that I probably wouldn't have said before. I really am in the middle of a change, I can feel it. Junior year was one of my best in a long while. Since 7th grade. That's the last time I had a good year. This last year I've become more comfortable being myself. I've put myself out there a little more. I hope senior year is even better. I've finally found some people who I feel like I fit in with, people who I should have been good friends with a long time ago. Sorry this is all just me rambling. If you read all of this, wow.
Tonight I'm getting Taco Bell and watching Garden State with Jeannette. =)
Tomorrow = picnic party thing at Kneeland Park and show in Centralia probably?
I love summer.