I never feel as much like myself as much as when I've got my ears underwater and toes poking up, floating freely or testing how far I swim before the cabins get too small and then when I'm collapsing on the hot rocks and letting the salt water create a film over my whole body and tangle and curl my hair. There's something about the way the water and I understand each other that creates a time capsule or a fortune teller or maybe both but I've got myself convinced that even though it's healthy, escapism of any kind isn't doing me any favors and I am so tired of running.