it's just so convenient to be fragile

I want to get on an airplane and I don't want to commit to anything and I don't want to talk about the future and I used to like to plan things but now I do not and I want to leave but I don't want to leave and I want to write a letter but I don't want to project my problems onto you and I want you to see me I suppose and I want to stop having recurring dreams and I want to stop beating myself up and I do not want to be here.