in a day it'll be back to my other life and so for now i'll let the drum and bass vibrate my whole room and take a minute to realize how much this song was my entire five months away from school that ends tomorrow. scared straight, petrified, paralyzed, in denial, sleepwalking. moving just to keep moving, the feeling of being in motion again, pretend sleeping. skewed perspective, wasted opportunities. it was the smoke in the sky the whole last month of summer and the first time i remember hearing it driving across the state and all the times i took the back way and the way it came around when i hit the narrows bridge. it's loving my state and feeling nervous in other countries and being ready for change and making change and balancing change when it fucks with your brain. it's jetlag and sleeplessness for longer than is acceptable and when things get weird with your friends and you make your friends uncomfortable sometimes and running into people you knew when you were children and saying so over and over again in the dark. it's airplanes and time zones and airports and language barriers. it's strangers and comfort and driving home from work. it's still waiting for the fire and the light at the end of the tunnel and don't just keep your head down take a fucking risk because it's almost over and so far there is very little to reminisce about so be brave and stop pretend sleeping because you're scared. it's unappealing in someone so young.