what "they" say

If there is anything I've learned from this God forsaken week, it might be just that when the shit really hits the fan and your real life does NOT (I repeat, NOT) feel like your real life, that you just have to accept that there are things that are 99% out of your control and there are things that are 99% IN your control. This week has taught me things about myself and my values that I don't think I knew before. Actually, I know I didn't know before. I want to stay high on life and I want to feel like I'm flying. I want to stop feeling like half my life has been a lie and like I am not taken seriously and like I'm really just fooling everybody (including myself) and I want to feel alive again. I've spent too much time this year being asleep and feeling sorry. I have NEVER in my entire life wanted/NEEDED a fresh start so badly. Never.