1. I don't like having so many lists in my phone of things I want to say
2. Everyday I'm like maybe tonight will be the night
3. Timing and excuses
4. I started thinking I could just not make a decision but then pretty quickly it became clear in everything I was avoiding that it's a decision in itself to not make a decision
5. I don't know how to explain how selfish I've been in a way that doesn't sound selfish
6. I should quit romanticizing "feeling good" because it has always been a give and take
7. Most of the time lately I've been just fine
8. Fuck it all